Elizabeth Diaries

 Dear Diary, 31st January 2021 11:31am Nigerian Time Today being Sunday, the last day of January in the year 2021 I am grateful for seeing this day. Today I thank God for my family. My parents and my three siblings. Below is a hymn I love so much. This hymn gives me hope during hard times. I sing it and I read it as a poem. It pays to serve Jesus.  It Pays to Serve Jesus, I Speak from my Heart, It pays to serve Jesus, I speak from my heart, He'll always be with us, if we do our part There's naught in this wide world can pleasure afford; There's peace and contentment in serving the Lord. CHORUS I love Him far better than in days of yore I'll serve Him more truly than ever before, I'll do as He bids me, whatever the cost, I'll be a true soldier, I'll die at my post. And oft when I'm tempted to turn from the track, I think of my Saviour, my mind wanders back To the place where they nailed Him on Calvary's tree. I heard a voice saying, "I suffered f

 Dear Diary, 29th January, 2021 2:47pm Nigerian Time Today, I am grateful for privileges. I am grateful I am blessed with two legs to walk, I am grateful that I have arms and two hands and I can use it productively. I have come this far and that's only through grace. Reaching this age has not been easy. Some point in my life I thought I would die, life was over and there was nothing left to live for. But, now that my healing begun, I feel safe. I am grateful for who I am today. Standing in front of children and imparting knowledge daily.  Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 Dear Diary, 27th January 2021 5:38pm Nigerian Time Today I am grateful for growth. Emotional growth, spiritual growth, educational growth and otherwise. I was born, I became a baby, I started crawling, then I began walking. I started school, from Nursery to Primary and I moved over to secondary school. Fortunately I was privileged to go to University, graduated and now, I am serving my father land. The process wasn't an easy one. It involved sleepless nights, stressful days and lots of hard work. I am grateful for the little wins and achievements. Since I discovered self-love, my life was never the same again. Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 Dear Diary, January, 25th 2021 Nigerian Time 9:00pm Today I begin my Twenty four days gratitude challenge. I will be thanking God for all the good things He has done in my life and that of my family. Today, I thank God for my life. Each day I will post a picture of me or people I love. I will show gratitude to all of them. This picture was taken in Wailo Camp, Bauchi State, Nigeria. The lady standing beside me was a corper who asked that we took photos. At first I didn't want to take the photo, but I had loved the photo after. I had met beautiful people at the course of this service and I had gladly took pictures with them all. Photos are for good memories. For the past twenty four years, God has been good. I am loved, I am cared for. I get sick and I get well. The journey has been beautiful, painful, eventful and sometimes traumatic. It wasn't a rosy one. I faced storms, I climbed mountains and passed through the valley. I have known abuse. I have known lack. I have been bles

 Dear Diary, 22nd January 2021 2:50pm, Nigerian Time I am sorry, I took some time away. School resumed and I resumed my duty too. I take SS1, SS2 and SS3 classes. I teach English language. This week, on Monday, I started with revision. During the Monday class, I took ten minutes out of forty minutes to interact with the students. I asked them how they spent their holiday. At first, they were so shy and couldn't say a word. They were thinking or probably depressed, because they were about to get their examination report sheets. They were scared of failing. I had to let them know that no one was failing. As I said so, they began to talk. They were able to say something. I was happy I got their attention.  The week so far is a happy one. I am happy for the new elected President and Vice President of the United States of America. Yesterday, Joe Biden lifted a travel ban on many African countries and Nigeria which is my country was one of it. I love Joe Biden, he is a leader of the phra

Dear Diary, 14th, January 2021- Thursday 6:27pm, Nigerian Time I want to bring to your notice that I started my first CDS(Community Development Service) today. My CDS is FCCPC. Federal Competition Consumer Protection Commission. Our role is to protect consumers right. Today, I had a great day, I saw new faces and entered new places. After the meeting, I went to job hunt. I came back, sat down and began writing application letters. I was told a school is in need of an English language Teacher. I will be trying my luck. The story of being independent and having a shilling is not an easy journey. May the day break. Me after the whole process. Job hunting is really tasking.   Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

Elizabeth Okon, an African woman, a Blogger, a Writer and an Educationist blogging her purpose and dreams to life. 13th January 2020 10:31pm, Nigerian Time Dear Diary, I really want to get a life. I am tired of living life in someone else's terms with so much stress and unhappiness. I don't want to be made miserable. I want to be happy. Today, as usual Mass was celebrated. The duty assigned to me was washing of toilet. In our family house lodge, duties are assigned to people. Failure to do those duties attract sanction. I have been made to wash the restroom over and over again. I am yet to get an award for it. Some days are good, some days are bad. I thank God for the breathe of life, my peace of mind and my sanity. On Monday I log in Twitter, I got to see a little misunderstanding between Uju Anya and Aisha Yesufu. While Nigerians were dragging Uju Anya, her work and her professorship, I saw her Boss defend her. I was very glad to see that. This is a rare act in Nigeria. Over

Nigerian Star Apple  Dear Diary, 11,  January,  2021 10:22am, Nigerian Time I have never known a person who read Art and ever remained the same again. Art makes us human. It enable us express feelings. We get to see words in silence and in every actions. And among my three siblings, I am the only one that differs. I have empathy, I am humane. I feel one's pains and silence. Sometimes, I am called crazy and abnormal for not acting as everyone else. But I don't mind. I keep being me, just the way I am. I try to do the right things at the right time, but I don't live to please people. I don't follow society and it's stereotypes. As long as I breath, I live life to the fullest, with no terms involved. I am very expressive. I express my feelings and emotions. I tell stories. I don't keep emotions to myself, I talk it out especially when such emotions are negative. I feel every emotions as it comes. I don't keep one up, then subdue the other. My negative feelings

Dear Diary, 7th, January 2020 11:58am, Nigerian Time I have never experienced that feelings. That feelings some girl do feel. The feeling of having a boyfriend. A full-time boyfriend. The contentment that comes with having a partner, one where feelings are mutual. I miss that part. Maybe I might experience the love later in my life. When others are having sex, I am on my little bed sleeping away time. When friends talk about their boyfriends, I get sullen, hiding in my shell. Every part of my life have been about struggle and love is one of it. Well, now I worry less. I let things flow naturally. I don't force friendship, relationship or a lover. I don't assume it in my head either. Now, I love myself more. Most times I wonder if I will ever get married because I have never dated anyone before. I have had sex, but not really in a serious relationship. It was more of fun and a playboy thingy. I gave my heart out and got it broken. I am always friend zoned. No guy ask me out. And

Me on my NYSC uniform at the parade ground, Wailo Camp, Bauchi State, Nigeria Dear Diary, 5th, January 2020 11:15am, Nigerian Time Reflecting on my life, all I could say is, “It's better now than before." Few weeks to my 25th birthday and I don't even look 25. I still look like a preteen girl who hasn't completed school yet. People do compare me with their seventeen years old daughters who are still in high school. I find this really embarrassing.  At 24, I completed my University degree programme, obtained my certificate, almost passing out of my one year service to my country.  At 24, life wasn't easy but I had to keep pushing through still.  At 24, I stayed off relationship and focused on bettering myself. I don't have a boyfriend, I am just seriously single.  At 24, I taught a little boy and got paid. My first time working and being paid. At 24, I learnt how to be patient, be compassionate and empathetic through caring for others and in the period of lockdo

An almond fruit.    Dear Diary,    4th, January 2020   11:10am, Nigerian Time Today, I woke up like every other day and went to Mass. Yesterday, while going through some blog, I read a story of a girl who is under the bondages of her overprotective father and I thought of myself as well. I thought of the slavery and bondages I went through, surviving all these trauma, migraine, stomach upset, anxiety and panic attacks and I realized that parents who don't care about the emotional well-being of their children are indeed wicked. I thought the problem was always about me until I grew up and I discovered my father was the major problem we had at home. His domineering and colonial tendencies. Seeing himself as the Messiah of everyone. Even till this point, those childhood experiences still haunt me. The first time I spoke up, I got to hear things like; “ The internet never forgets." “ You will be applying for jobs, who will employ you. Which organization will want to give you a job

Dear Diary, 3rd, January 2020 10:20pm, Nigerian Time I am so sorry for disturbing you so much but I have to be so honest here. Today, I felt a heavy breakdown because of terrible childhood memories and I want to say that marriage pisses me off. When I saw my mother struggling through it all and sometimes with tears, quarrels and fight, I hated the whole idea of marriage, of paying dowry and having to spend the rest of life with one particular being who might be extremely toxic and abusive. I attend weddings and respect people who go into the union. My grief, anger, sadness, moodiness is truly personal. I didn't admire the idea of having to depend on a father all my life and having him treat us like shit. Those experiences are terrible experiences I wouldn't wish anyone. So, I can accept friendship and dates, but going into a union with a man is what I will never do. As a child I never loved marriage. I never enjoyed what I saw then. It was horrible and heartbreaking. Not now no

Dear Diary, 3rd, January 2021 5:24pm, Nigerian Time The part of healing I love most is self-care. Giving so much time and attention to myself, relaxing, reading and cuddling, taking a break when I need it. The feeling that goes with shopping, buying a cream, new clothes, shoe, books, eating home made meals prepared with love and owning things is so wonderful. And this is where my little money goes. At this time, pains are gone and all feels like bliss. Also, I love doing things myself. Mopping the floor, sweeping, washing dirty clothes and keeping everywhere clean. I do these things willingly. I dislike being forced to work or commanded. This kills the zeal for work in me. I get turn off at any sight of abuse. I don't crawl while at it, I run because I know it negative effect and the damages it does. One may not be alive to tell the story. Self-care is like reparenting, I feel like home each time I treat myself better. I feel like home each time I pamper myself with so much love. I

Dear Diary, 2nd January 2021 5:46pm, Nigerian Time I love owning things. Owning my freedom, owning my lane, owning my time, owning my pace. I love the idea of having my own thing. We all live in the world and sometimes I get tired of people making me feel less of a human being, restricting my freedom because they have what I don't have. I get humiliated and see people treat me like shit because they own a thing. And mostly because money and privileges give them power. I don't like abuse and I stand against it. Owning things eradicate abuse. This is why even while staying in a lodge with people as a family, I owned my things. I first bought a gas cylinder, then a pot, plates, spoon, tray, knife, cutting board and cups. I don't like the feeling of someone humiliating me because I don't have my own thing. Having my own thing is liberating. I use it at my time. I don't have to depend on anyone. I don't have to wait for another to finish using his or her things then

Dear Diary, 3:56pm, Nigerian Time Today is the first day of 2021. The day is calm and peaceful. I woke up by 7:00am, I was still so tired from yesterday's outing. I checked my phone and I was overwhelmed by new year messages. I dropped my phone and went outside to brush my teeth and take my bath. I left to church around 8:30am and came back by 10:15am. I went to market, bought chicken and had it killed, dressed and cut to pieces right there. I eat chicken, but I can't kill it. I am scared of touching or slaughtering it. I cooked chicken pepper soup with white rice. Then, I ate my meal with a bunch of banana. Happy new year to me. I wish myself the best of the year, 2021. More to self-care and self-love. Elizabeth Diaries ❤️