Getting a life

Elizabeth Okon, an African woman, a Blogger, a Writer and an Educationist blogging her purpose and dreams to life.

13th January 2020

10:31pm, Nigerian Time

Dear Diary,
I really want to get a life. I am tired of living life in someone else's terms with so much stress and unhappiness. I don't want to be made miserable. I want to be happy. Today, as usual Mass was celebrated. The duty assigned to me was washing of toilet. In our family house lodge, duties are assigned to people. Failure to do those duties attract sanction. I have been made to wash the restroom over and over again. I am yet to get an award for it. Some days are good, some days are bad. I thank God for the breathe of life, my peace of mind and my sanity. On Monday I log in Twitter, I got to see a little misunderstanding between Uju Anya and Aisha Yesufu. While Nigerians were dragging Uju Anya, her work and her professorship, I saw her Boss defend her. I was very glad to see that. This is a rare act in Nigeria. Over here, a little misunderstanding or fight or post on social media can lead to one's dismissal from work. I was happy her Boss sided her.

I won't say my pains are over as I am still in the healing process. Many times, my pains stays with me. The wounds so fresh. I don't know when my pains would end. Each time he calls me I still feel frightened and shocked. I think it is about time I leave abusive parents and family. Most times I doubt their love for me. And it gets worst day after day staying with them. I don't know how this will go. I just have to start searching for job before I finish service. And that journey began today. My liberation lays only in my hand. All my life, I have waited for someone to come save me. I waited patiently, no one answered me. Now, I have to save myself. I am visiting the chapel and saying prayers alongside with it.

I am tired of toxic masculinity, abuse, disrespect and all the shit that comes with depending on someone for survival. My one shilling is better than ten shillings given to me by someone.

Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 

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