Elizabeth Diaries

  Before any other thing, I would like to say that there is an urgent need for counselors and psychologist in Nigeria. There is so much hardship, suffering, humans are frustrated, going through trauma or healing from trauma. Many people are depressed, jobless and even isolated. Some people don't have friends or people to talk to or even listen to them without judging them. So, the first thing that comes to people's mind is to post their problems on social media, blow an alarm or call for help or just to feel relieved a bit. I don't blame them or say how immature they are, because when people are frustrated the last thing on their mind is shame. When the heat is so much and they can't take it anymore, it calls for alarm blowing. No one is perfect anymore. I don't blame any living human being who cried for help on social media at some point. Especially feeling stuck in a terrible situation. It could be anyone and in most case worst than that. But what humans say or do...

In this article, I won't say leave your abusive home, run away from your parents or start living in isolation. No! I can't do that. This advice you see or read on the internet or watch people say is so hard to do. Damn so hard! Especially when you are a minor, dependant, no job, no savings, very broke and even hopeless. I have had my own share of the experience so I can tell how difficult that is. And again, no matter how bad your family is, don't go telling everyone how terrible your family is. Don't be vulnerable with everyone. Don't point fingers, other fingers would be pointing back at you. So be matured, act matured, heal in a matured way.  I know how pained, hurt, broken you are, but heal your pains the right way so you won't have things bouncing back or backfiring at you. I am saying this from experience and I wish you a healthy healing. One thing I keep saying to anyone who has been abused is that, it's not your fault to be born into dysfunctionality...

I feel the world would be much better if humans were not materialistic. The world would be much better if people didn't join harmful groups, cult or whatever humans pledge to to harm their fellow humans and damage humanity. Materialism has led to many evils. Humans because of money or certain privileges do evil to each other. They get education, then they need a job. They get a job, then they need money. They get money, then they need a car. They get a car, then they need a house. They get a house, then they need something else. Human needs and wants are endless and insatiable. Humans place their happiness and peace on the outside world; on money, on house, on cars, on degrees, on relationship status, on children, and they neglect themselves, their home and their inner peace. Life is safer without materialism. Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 I don't deny the fact that sometimes healing pains hurt so well. Sometimes you are numb, you yell, you are rude, you are angry, unhappy and bitter. Pains hurt so well and it is hard to forgive, especially when there is no apologies. Healing childhood abuse and traumas hurt, being financially abused hurt. But, you still have to heal to be free. Pains hurt. Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 Self-care days are happy days. The day I wash all my clothes clean, make everywhere clean, get sunlight, shave my armpits and everywhere that requires shaving is my most happy day. Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 Today on my Diary, my voice goes to all those who are lonely, jobless, homeless and don't have a clue of what their lives would turn out. My voice goes to all those staying in dysfunctional homes. Who have no one caring for them, texting them or giving them love. You matter. Your life matters. Your journey matters and your process matters too. Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 Patience pays a lot. Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

Elizabeth Diaries ❤️  

 Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 I won't fail to acknowledge Dr. Thema in my Diary. I love her. I love how she does her work passionately at Twitter. She saves life. And she has saved mine. Everyday, early in the morning I log on Twitter to go read what she has to say for the day. Since the day I discovered her page and followed her, I was glad I did. She talks to us in ways we understand. She mends our heart, minds and soul. So, today I give her a special place in my Diary. I found a safe space in her. Her words soothes my broken heart.  Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 Four months ago my colleague died of a fatal motor accident. Nobody knew she would die that way, even when we heard the news, it was like a dream to everyone. During my service year, many corp members had accident. Some died, few sustained injuries. This became a trauma to all of us. We were all scared of traveling, but we had to travel to meet our families. We didn't have a choice. By road, Calabar to Bauchi was a two day journey. By air, through transit it was less than an hour. But the best experience is through road transportation. You get to see life, have fun, sleep at the park or hotel, spend few hours with people and you may die anyway due to the bad roads or fallen tankers and trucks. But when your thought focuses mainly on that, you won't enjoy the journey. I saw quite a number of new and good roads. There are good roads at Ebonyi, Abia and Enugu. No potholes, no traffic congestion. The driving was really a smooth process. A journey of six hours, we ended up taking a...

 Dear Diary, Saturday, 27th February 2021 1:55pm Nigerian Time Today, I am grateful to all those who come online to write. Not just write, they share their write-ups with the public. I am grateful to those who share their talent, gift and knowledge with others without demanding for money or data or friendship that might lead to something else. I am grateful to Dr. Thema on Twitter. She does her work so well. I am grateful to all those who rant and ensures everyone has a voice. I love you all Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

 Dear Diary, Tuesday, 23rd February 2021 3:03pm Nigerian Time Today, I thank God for my writing skill. My life have had a meaning through writing. I began writing on Facebook then to blogger and back to Facebook. In 2015, I started blogging with a subdomain on blogger. I blog about my pains and passion until one day I forgot my then Gmail password, I couldn't log in anymore, then I called it quit. Writing has really transformed my life. I have built a little part of my life through writing. I have healed through writing. I have discovered myself and purpose through writing. My self-care and love was through writing. I have been judged and condemned but I write still because I know my healing lays there.

Dear Diary, 14th, January 2021- Thursday 6:27pm, Nigerian Time I want to bring to your notice that I started my first CDS(Community Development Service) today. My CDS is FCCPC. Federal Competition Consumer Protection Commission. Our role is to protect consumers right. Today, I had a great day, I saw new faces and entered new places. After the meeting, I went to job hunt. I came back, sat down and began writing application letters. I was told a school is in need of an English language Teacher. I will be trying my luck. The story of being independent and having a shilling is not an easy journey. May the day break. Me after the whole process. Job hunting is really tasking.   Elizabeth Diaries ❤️

Elizabeth Okon, an African woman, a Blogger, a Writer and an Educationist blogging her purpose and dreams to life. 13th January 2020 10:31pm, Nigerian Time Dear Diary, I really want to get a life. I am tired of living life in someone else's terms with so much stress and unhappiness. I don't want to be made miserable. I want to be happy. Today, as usual Mass was celebrated. The duty assigned to me was washing of toilet. In our family house lodge, duties are assigned to people. Failure to do those duties attract sanction. I have been made to wash the restroom over and over again. I am yet to get an award for it. Some days are good, some days are bad. I thank God for the breathe of life, my peace of mind and my sanity. On Monday I log in Twitter, I got to see a little misunderstanding between Uju Anya and Aisha Yesufu. While Nigerians were dragging Uju Anya, her work and her professorship, I saw her Boss defend her. I was very glad to see that. This is a rare act in Nigeria. Over ...

An almond fruit.    Dear Diary,    4th, January 2020   11:10am, Nigerian Time Today, I woke up like every other day and went to Mass. Yesterday, while going through some blog, I read a story of a girl who is under the bondages of her overprotective father and I thought of myself as well. I thought of the slavery and bondages I went through, surviving all these trauma, migraine, stomach upset, anxiety and panic attacks and I realized that parents who don't care about the emotional well-being of their children are indeed wicked. I thought the problem was always about me until I grew up and I discovered my father was the major problem we had at home. His domineering and colonial tendencies. Seeing himself as the Messiah of everyone. Even till this point, those childhood experiences still haunt me. The first time I spoke up, I got to hear things like; “ The internet never forgets." “ You will be applying for jobs, who will employ you. Which organization will want to...

Dear Diary, 3rd, January 2020 10:20pm, Nigerian Time I am so sorry for disturbing you so much but I have to be so honest here. Today, I felt a heavy breakdown because of terrible childhood memories and I want to say that marriage pisses me off. When I saw my mother struggling through it all and sometimes with tears, quarrels and fight, I hated the whole idea of marriage, of paying dowry and having to spend the rest of life with one particular being who might be extremely toxic and abusive. I attend weddings and respect people who go into the union. My grief, anger, sadness, moodiness is truly personal. I didn't admire the idea of having to depend on a father all my life and having him treat us like shit. Those experiences are terrible experiences I wouldn't wish anyone. So, I can accept friendship and dates, but going into a union with a man is what I will never do. As a child I never loved marriage. I never enjoyed what I saw then. It was horrible and heartbreaking. Not now no...

Dear Diary, 3rd, January 2021 5:24pm, Nigerian Time The part of healing I love most is self-care. Giving so much time and attention to myself, relaxing, reading and cuddling, taking a break when I need it. The feeling that goes with shopping, buying a cream, new clothes, shoe, books, eating home made meals prepared with love and owning things is so wonderful. And this is where my little money goes. At this time, pains are gone and all feels like bliss. Also, I love doing things myself. Mopping the floor, sweeping, washing dirty clothes and keeping everywhere clean. I do these things willingly. I dislike being forced to work or commanded. This kills the zeal for work in me. I get turn off at any sight of abuse. I don't crawl while at it, I run because I know it negative effect and the damages it does. One may not be alive to tell the story. Self-care is like reparenting, I feel like home each time I treat myself better. I feel like home each time I pamper myself with so much love. I...