HOW TO SURVIVE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY AND HOME

In this article, I won't say leave your abusive home, run away from your parents or start living in isolation. No! I can't do that. This advice you see or read on the internet or watch people say is so hard to do. Damn so hard! Especially when you are a minor, dependant, no job, no savings, very broke and even hopeless. I have had my own share of the experience so I can tell how difficult that is. And again, no matter how bad your family is, don't go telling everyone how terrible your family is. Don't be vulnerable with everyone. Don't point fingers, other fingers would be pointing back at you. So be matured, act matured, heal in a matured way.  I know how pained, hurt, broken you are, but heal your pains the right way so you won't have things bouncing back or backfiring at you. I am saying this from experience and I wish you a healthy healing.


One thing I keep saying to anyone who has been abused is that, it's not your fault to be born into dysfunctionality and negative patterns. It is not your fault that your father beats up your mother or anyone treating you badly. Dysfunctionality in the family is not your fault so you don't push the blames to yourself, rather you heal through it. And this is how you can survive an abusive home or dysfunctionality in the family.

  1. Love yourself
  2. Care for yourself
  3. You are only to fix yourself
  4. Get therapy; see a counselor or a psychologist
  5. Have friends
  6. Don't stay in isolation
  7. Visit other family members
  8. Go on a holiday
  9. Maintain boundaries
  10. Get a job even if it is a little pay
  11. Release your emotions through hobbies
  12. Have a hobby
  13. Go to school
  14. Break negative patterns
  15. Talk to someone
  16. Don't rush into marriage or relationship. Heal first!
  17. Travel
  18. Build your spirituality
  19. Build your career
  20. Journal or blog
  21. Don't be emotionally attached to someone that you can't sleep without them
  22. Be independent
  23. Don't entertain gossips and toxic humans
  24. Remove your minds from your parents' relationship or anyone's failures. If they didn't do things well, that isn't your work to correct or fix it.
  25. Don't run away from home without having a job, what to do, money or a place to stay. It's risky out there.
  26. Engage in social activities. Leave the house often.
  27. Avoid being vulnerable with everyone. Some humans are out there to complicate human's problems. 
  28. Be disciplined
  29. Get to know the person you are dating or want to marry. Get to know them deeply, especially their backgrounds so you won't repeat old patterns
  30. When you start a family, get a family therapist or counselor.
  31. Don't make your problems a public entertainment
  32. Don't rush the healing process
  33. Work and volunteer your services
  34. Play, have fun

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

BY LOVING YOURSELF, YOU LOVE OTHERS

So it's been four months since I started working in a school in Calabar that has forty years of existence. A really old school whose facilities need maintenance. Chairs damaged, laboratory decay and everything in there looks so old. Then I wondered, what am I doing here? And I realized that I needed experience. I wanted to leave home so long as it is for learning. I learned. I saw how mismanagement can cause serious damage to a school. I saw how not treating teachers well or paying them on time could be a danger to school business. Especially changing teachers every time in school or teachers leaving a school due to ill treatment.  By loving yourself, you love others. When you love yourself, it becomes so easy to love others. It becomes easy to love your staff and pay them on time. It becomes so easy to treat people well. Elizabeth Diaries ❤️
Read more

Elizabeth Diaries

Image
Dear Diary, I come with so much to tell. I will tell you everything as I am your faithful girlfriend. Growing up, I had trust issues. I barely trusted my parents, so I couldn't trust anyone. I grew up to see the mess my father's bad friends and company brought us into. My father had many frienemies, not friends. They laughed, smiled, ate with him, squandered his money, but said badly of him at his absence. His friends never loved him, he was only used. His frienemies made decisions for him in his own home. My father never took my mother's advice. He said my mother was an illiterate. So, he clinged to his friends. He wasted half of his wealth on his friends and their dubious lives. My father's weakness was trusting people so much and giving his whole life to them. He never loved us, he gave all his love to strangers and neglected his family. They used him, they blackmailed him, they abused him, they messed him up. We as his family were part of the whole mess. This wa...
Read more

HOW TO GET A BETTER LIFE

Image
 Remember, you can't have everything in life. Maybe you may have everything, you didn't get them all at the same time, but you can definitely have a better life with what you have. You can have a better future, a better experience, a better life journey it all depends on you and what you want. So here are a few tips to getting a better life. Not a survival life, but a better life. Get Educated Education has never gone out of age nor season. Get informed, be aware of everything that is happening around and within you. It pays less to be ignorant than to be educated. You are at a greater advantage when you are educated. Go to school, learn, educate yourself. This way, chances are you will get a better life. Education exposes you to many experiences and opportunities. 2. Have a Purpose You wouldn't want to be going through life cluelessly. Would you? So you got to make plans and live a purposeful life. Where do you see yourself in the next five or ten years? Write down those d...
Read more