HOW TO SURVIVE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY AND HOME
In this article, I won't say leave your abusive home, run away from your parents or start living in isolation. No! I can't do that. This advice you see or read on the internet or watch people say is so hard to do. Damn so hard! Especially when you are a minor, dependant, no job, no savings, very broke and even hopeless. I have had my own share of the experience so I can tell how difficult that is. And again, no matter how bad your family is, don't go telling everyone how terrible your family is. Don't be vulnerable with everyone. Don't point fingers, other fingers would be pointing back at you. So be matured, act matured, heal in a matured way. I know how pained, hurt, broken you are, but heal your pains the right way so you won't have things bouncing back or backfiring at you. I am saying this from experience and I wish you a healthy healing.
One thing I keep saying to anyone who has been abused is that, it's not your fault to be born into dysfunctionality and negative patterns. It is not your fault that your father beats up your mother or anyone treating you badly. Dysfunctionality in the family is not your fault so you don't push the blames to yourself, rather you heal through it. And this is how you can survive an abusive home or dysfunctionality in the family.
- Love yourself
- Care for yourself
- You are only to fix yourself
- Get therapy; see a counselor or a psychologist
- Have friends
- Don't stay in isolation
- Visit other family members
- Go on a holiday
- Maintain boundaries
- Get a job even if it is a little pay
- Release your emotions through hobbies
- Have a hobby
- Go to school
- Break negative patterns
- Talk to someone
- Don't rush into marriage or relationship. Heal first!
- Travel
- Build your spirituality
- Build your career
- Journal or blog
- Don't be emotionally attached to someone that you can't sleep without them
- Be independent
- Don't entertain gossips and toxic humans
- Remove your minds from your parents' relationship or anyone's failures. If they didn't do things well, that isn't your work to correct or fix it.
- Don't run away from home without having a job, what to do, money or a place to stay. It's risky out there.
- Engage in social activities. Leave the house often.
- Avoid being vulnerable with everyone. Some humans are out there to complicate human's problems.
- Be disciplined
- Get to know the person you are dating or want to marry. Get to know them deeply, especially their backgrounds so you won't repeat old patterns
- When you start a family, get a family therapist or counselor.
- Don't make your problems a public entertainment
- Don't rush the healing process
- Work and volunteer your services
- Play, have fun
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