Before any other thing, I would like to say that there is an urgent need for counselors and psychologist in Nigeria. There is so much hardship, suffering, humans are frustrated, going through trauma or healing from trauma. Many people are depressed, jobless and even isolated. Some people don't have friends or people to talk to or even listen to them without judging them. So, the first thing that comes to people's mind is to post their problems on social media, blow an alarm or call for help or just to feel relieved a bit. I don't blame them or say how immature they are, because when people are frustrated the last thing on their mind is shame. When the heat is so much and they can't take it anymore, it calls for alarm blowing. No one is perfect anymore. I don't blame any living human being who cried for help on social media at some point. Especially feeling stuck in a terrible situation. It could be anyone and in most case worst than that. But what humans say or do in times of frustrations could come back to haunt them or even become a stigma. This is why there is an urgent need for counselors, mostly in our Nigerian homes. You may feel everyone has it all until everyone comes out openly to tell their stories. The good, the bad, the worst and the terrible stories. Not so many people can face all challenges of life without letting their neighbors or people around them know their pains. A lot of people can't process their trauma and heal through it without involving violence or making an unconcerned person feel attached. Apart from having a counselor, it is another thing for people to let go of pride and be vulnerable. You can't be forcing another human being go see a counselor with you or making you feel like you have got a problem. Problems like family or marriage problems can drive anyone insane, mostly in a situation where you have no job, no money, feeling useless or one man call a husband is just there trapping you down or making sure you don't progress. Life is hard. And living with terrible humans make it harder. In life, you got to be smart and think over choices before you make them. And the consequences of every action you take. And know the person you marry to avoid problems for yourself. Get to know them physically, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, financially and emotionally.
One of the things that makes people cry, frustrated and in pains is over dependency. Depending on another human for everything. Making another human the center of your life, your purpose and journey. And when expectations fail, disappointment sets in, humans feel stranded. One of the things I try so much to avoid in my life. This kind of life is a terrible life you can find yourself in. You can't even live life. You live for another human. He/she can deal with you as he/she wishes. Also, I made a goal of not marrying before 25. 25 is the age where a woman's mind is fully developed. By that age, a woman must have been done with school, must have gotten a job or a skill. Below 25, the girl knows nothing. Still in school and very naive. So I thank God I didn't make that mistake of marrying or falling pregnant below 25. I actually told someone that I wish to marry in my 30s and she shouted. I am a fan of late marriages however it turns out to be. By 30s, 40s, you are done with school, built a career, travel, dated a lot, have money and not dependant. If there is anything like hell on earth is being a poor dependant. Depending on another human being for everything. It sucks. I have seen it enough. Such life sucks. Such relationship doesn't end well. It's either you are maltreated or you are being hindered from being yourself.
So in our today's life, humans need counseling to avoid making a mistake that can damage their life or one they can't recover from.
Through watching the lives of others and the people around me, I try as much as I can to avoid mistakes that can keep a scar in me. It is not easy to recover or heal emotional traumas and inflicted pains. Not easy at all. So I do what is best for me all the time.
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