Sometimes I am tired

 Sometimes I get tired. Tired of the whole life process. Tired of suffering. Tired of abuse and violence. I left the church choir because I wasn't happy. I was so unhappy with life going through the difficult and harsh time of my life. Sometimes I don't want to believe that God doesn't exist. What is God really saying about abuse? I always feel sad that God was God and He didn't do anything about abuse or help people who were abused. Many times I felt horrible because the person who hurts and abuses me so much was always calling on God every time. I couldn't sing to God then have such a harsh life and I kept asking what I did to deserve all these suffering.

So, sometimes I get tired of God that He doesn't do a thing about abuse and violence. He is just up there, watching everyone, doing nothing about it and saying nothing about it.

This is why I stopped singing. This is why I feel horrible going to church. This is why I am sad with God. He does nothing about abuse.

Elizabeth Diaries ❤️