Elizabeth Diaries

Dear Diary,

I come with so much to tell. I will tell you everything as I am your faithful girlfriend. Growing up, I had trust issues. I barely trusted my parents, so I couldn't trust anyone. I grew up to see the mess my father's bad friends and company brought us into. My father had many frienemies, not friends. They laughed, smiled, ate with him, squandered his money, but said badly of him at his absence. His friends never loved him, he was only used. His frienemies made decisions for him in his own home. My father never took my mother's advice. He said my mother was an illiterate. So, he clinged to his friends. He wasted half of his wealth on his friends and their dubious lives. My father's weakness was trusting people so much and giving his whole life to them. He never loved us, he gave all his love to strangers and neglected his family. They used him, they blackmailed him, they abused him, they messed him up. We as his family were part of the whole mess. This was a horrible experience. An experience that brought division to our home. I saw my father turned his back on us when we needed him most. Sometimes, I had cried of hunger, I had known lack, I have been an online beggar. What didn't I go through because of the messy life of my father and his bad friends. He was in control of money, the only one working in our home, he only gave us what he desired, then gave alot of money to strangers. He wanted to be the only one working and providing money for our home. The breadwinner. I had known suffering then. I had known what it feels like to have a man who left his own home to care for another man's home while his home was tattered, unkept and dirty. He was a big fool. He stopped us from working, doing a job or getting any source of income. We depended on him. He ruled us with force. I will always say, those days were pains and my father was a wicked man. He was a wicked man who had no pity for his family. This is why I hardly trust people or have friends. I could laugh, smile and play. But I always had boundaries. I don't give my whole life to people. At some point, I was even scared of people. Scared of the fact that people were selfish, wicked and cruel. You give them your life, they take your whole life and leave you with nothing. My home is everything. My family is all that I have got. And someday when I have my own home, I will show my children what a home is and what a family truly is. I never had such loving home. My father had always preferred a stranger to us. I want to love my home and the children God blesses me with dearly. Each day, I dream of a good life for them. I want to be better. I don't want my innocent children to experience the messy life I experienced. It was a horrible one. I don't wish that for anyone.

Elizabeth Diaries ❤️